Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:10-11)

Over the past few weeks I have been feeling distant from God and His voice has been more quiet than usual. He showed me that with each sin I put another brick on the wall that separates me from Him. It started out as a retaining wall, but it has grown more and more with each un-confessed and un-repented sin.

In the same vision, God showed me that each brick I “glue” up there, He covers in beautiful blue velvet. This is going to sound violent, so please don’t take it that way. But God showed me that He likes to thump me with those bricks from time to time to remind me that the wall is still getting bigger. The symbolism in this vision is profound: the velvet shows His gentle love, but the reminder of the sin shows His discipline. We all need to be disciplined so we can continue on our path to holiness.

After this vision, I committed to taking each brick down by confessing and repenting, vowing not to put that same brick back into the wall. I see that wall getting smaller; it is not easy nor joyful, but I look forward to the day where the wall is no longer and I can see and hear God at His feet, where I belong.

What velvet-covered bricks are you being thumped with?

Blessings,

Since the dawn of creation, God has had you on His mind. He already considered all the blessings He would bestow upon you even before He knit you together in your mother’s womb! Our God is not just the God of big beautiful miracles, He is also the God of small things…because in reality nothing is too small for God to notice.

I have been wanting a second dog for about a year now. During the Christmas of 2008 I adopted a big beautiful dog named Tate but was unable to accomodate his anxious behaviors and was forced to surrender him back to the rescue in May of 2009. Since then I have been really hoping for a new puppy, one from the same breeder I got my rat terrier Toby from in February of 2008. Unfortunately with the way that things have been going financially I was not going to be able to get a puppy from the most recent litter (a litter produced by Toby’s parents)…and then God showed me that He considered even my most frivolous desires.

Tuesday morning I got an email from the breeder offering me the runt of the litter for no charge because she is nine weeks old and I guess interest in the puppies has been waning. I immediately thanked God…even something that by all accounts is not a neccessity was important enough to illicit a response from the Almighty…and I didn’t even pray for a puppy!

Because I relate God to a daddy figure in my life, I am not suprised when these sweet things happen. My earthly dad and I were talking the other night and he is buying my sister a Fender guitar, not because she needs it, and not because he has extra money burning a whole in his pockets. In his words, “She wants it and she is going to have it.” That’s how God loves us…He sees the little desires in our hearts (and the big ones) and (as they line up with His will) He gives them to us, not because we need them, just because we want them.

Sometimes we feel ashamed to ask God for certain things because they seem unimportant and not relevant enough to bother a King about…but we shouldn’t be ashamed because He is a daddy as well as a King…and He wants to bless you with all the little things!

With Love

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us…(Ephesians 3:20)

God has the whole world at His disposal. It is amazing to think that beyond the Best Gift (Jesus), He delights in the other gifts as well. It should blow your mind to think God will give you more than we could ever imagine, ever dream of.

This past week God has shown me that He can do anything He wants, and it all turns out to be okay. Through what I consider a divine appointment, God used my father and two connections in his network to get me an interview. God knew I was in the market for a new job (I am on contract currently), and arranged for me to interview for a job I was interested in. Even if this job doesn’t work out, I have added someone to my continually-expanding network.

God continues to amaze me. He surprises me every week, if not every day. The more I look for Him in my life, the more I see His hand. Tabatha and I each have a “blessing book,” where we write down the little things most people (and Christians) would chock up to good luck or coincidence.

Tabatha and I have chosen to see our Father at work because He loves us infinitely more than our earthly fathers. Some things I have written down are: free $4 latte; telling me not to spend too long at lunch so I wouldn’t miss a meeting I had forgotten about; making my gas last longer than normal; and having more money in my bank account when I give to m church than when I don’t.

I guarantee that when you start writing down the “little” blessings, you will see how resourceful God is, and how much He cares about every detail of your life; then you will begin to see how each “little” thing is a big deal.

What would you write in your “blessing book” today?

Blessings,

PS: I hope this PROVIDER series has been beneficial to you. If you’ve enjoyed reading it, please leave a comment. If you’d like to read the series from the beginning, click on the “PROVIDER” category to the right. You can also click on the “Christina” tag to see all my posts.

This verse from Acts is part of Stephen’s testimony before he is stoned to death. It refers to the story in Genesis 42 in which Jacob sends his sons out of their land to find grain in Egypt.

Have you ever felt like God is sending you into Egypt? That is what I am dealing with right now, trying to reconcile my own desires with what God is telling me to do. (I will write more about this as God reveals it to me, but for now, suffice to say I am reluctant.)

When God’s will for our life makes us uncomfortable it is o.k. to ask for another way, Jesus did! But we must accept the peace that God gives us as His will is enacted in our lives. In the garden of Gethsemane He practically begged God to save Him from the pain of having to die but He also had peace in God’s will.

So when God calls you to do something uncomfortable or even painful, first confirm that it is God, and then ask for peace. God sees the whole picture and has every detail worked out!

If you have a story about God calling you to do something you thought was impossible but He worked it out (as He always does) please leave a comment! I could sure use the encouragement and I’m sure there are other readers who could too!

With Lots of Love

As I was walking around the house, Toby was especially anxious to know where I was going so he was running in front of me. If I changed direction and closed a door I would soon hear scratching and whimpering because he went the way he thought I was going and didn’t see where I actually went.

When I realized what he was doing I considered that I often do this to God. God gives me a promise and I think I know where He is going with it so I run ten steps in front of Him, only to turn around and find a closed door. (Luckily, like me with Toby, God doesn’t keep the doors closed.) And I began to understand how much more efficiently my time could be spent if I followed God instead of expecting Him to follow me.

So as you consider all the promises that God has given you personally, check to make sure your following Him. Have an open forum with God, always talking and sorting through things with Him. Follow Him, don’t run ahead, and you will see a change.

With Love
Tabatha

Why in the WORLD would we need God if we could help ourselves? Jesus said to the Pharisees that He came to bring sinners to repentance not the righteous! (Matt. 9:13) You see, the Pharisees were righteous in their own eyes through their acts. All the little minuscule laws that they did themselves made them, in their minds, righteous before the Lord. The Pharisees took God out of the equation by making divinity something they themselves could create. “I am holy because I follow every part of the law.”

Jesus rebuked these self-righteous men several times in scripture…clearly He didn’t consider them to be righteous.

The sinners had more revelation than the “holy” men! They knew that they didn’t stand a chance before God, that they were NOT living in right standing with Him, so they came to Christ, flocked to Him that He would teach Him all He knew and reconcile them to their father.

We all need to be in a place where we really need God. Where we live and breath for Him…and if you can do it yourself through acts than you aren’t living as though you need Him.

Thank God that you are righteous, not by your acts but by His. And thank Him for providing for you, not by your strength but by His. He is holy and great and thankfully He helps those who CAN’T help themselves.

Love

Obviously you know where this is going. We do a lot of relating to God with what we know and see in this world, but I think He doesn’t mind because it helps us understand Him and His love for us. So, I think God with his unending grace also gives us a lot of empowerment. I don’t want to get into free will vs. permissive will vs. perfect will, but I firmly believe that God gives us choices to help us learn.

I’ve been given a lot of choices in the last few weeks. Let’s go over a few of them, and maybe you’ll see how much empowerment you have as well:

• Go to work or take a sick day
• Read my Bible or go to sleep
• Wake up early for quiet time or sleep in
• Go to the gym or sit on the couch
• Help the helpless or help myself

We are called to a higher standard about the choices we make: live for God or live for ourselves?

Okay, that’s one facet of God’s empowerment. Now on to the harder stuff.

Part of empowering someone is to give away some of your power. Jesus said to His disciples, “Greater things you will do,” talking about healing the sick and other miracles. As disciples of Christ, we are given gifts by the Holy Spirit to continue in Jesus’ ministry, performing miracles with God’s power, not with our own.

Think about that a second. We have been given part of God’s power to do great things in the name of Christ! Whoa.

So why are we sitting on the couch watching other people live and not doing it ourselves? I don’t know, but that’s one velvet-covered brick I continually get hit with (come back Tuesday to see what I mean).

Take some of the power you’ve been given through salvation and put it to good use. Make good choices that line up with God’s word, allow you to grow spiritually, and continue the ministry Jesus started until, as Casting Crowns like to say, “the whole world hears.”

What choices can you make today that will use God’s power to spread the gospel and help you and others grow?

Blessings,

While I haven’t gotten in front of my church and let loose about all my big dreams, I know that if I did it would be safe. No one would try to convince me to give up on my dreams for a more realistic life and no one would condemn me for expecting great things from God.

It seems a little sad that I would even need to post on this topic considering that all Christians should feel like it is safe to talk about their dreams to one another but I have been to churches where it would be ridiculous to think that God wanted to bless you. According to them, God helps those who help themselves. (Check Monday’s entry for my position on that saying.)

So thank you River of Life for being a safe and loving environment where I can dream big and expect God for great things without hitting a glass ceiling! And thank you for always believing there is an open heaven above us all waiting to pour out great blessings!

With Lots of Love

I am very much a child in my heart. I don’t have a peter pan complex, I just have unadultrated faith. It is definitely a gift from God because I have been through things that would cause people to wonder if there really is a God. I thank God for this faith that is so abundant within me, but I do have a few reservations.

I believe God for big things. At the risk of making a fool of myself I want to tell you what I am beleiving for right now. I am believing for some kind of financial breakthrough that will help me fix my car and pay off outstanding debts. I am believing for a husband who has the same desire as I do for a large family (with 12-17 children). I am believing for a great big house that is comfortable and enough finances to be debt free for life. I do not want a mortgage and I do want a huge house for my family to grow up in. I am beleiving for my family’s salvation. I am believing for God to download an amazing tween novel series into my head.

I also have a lot of dreams. I hope to start several ministries in the future to bring others to Christ and to show His outstanding love to everyone. I hope to be able to travel around the world. I’d really like a house in the outer banks (big enough for my huge family and guests) and a house in downtown historic wilmington. More urgently I’d like a car that runs reliably and isn’t a pain.

Now these may not seem unreasonable to you, but wait to make that determination after reading about my current reality.

I work a minimum wage job part time. I work another slightly better paying job part time. I don’t beleive in dating sites and go to a church where most of the members are old enough to be my parents (or grandparents). I do not have a college degree and don’t plan to get one. And the most important reality: I want my husband to be able to stay at home with me and the children.

Now to me, circumstances and current reality are not important but many people who read this will judge that I have my head in the clouds and that I should “do something” with my life.

I would just like to take this opportunity to say that I do have my head in the clouds, desperately seeking the Lord. I have big, un-remorseful, child-like hopes and dreams, but I am far from a child. And believing God for outrageous blessings must not be taken as impractical or immature.

I encourage you to unbury all the beautiful hopes and dreams that you buried at the risk of sounding silly or childish. Know that there is no shame in beleiving big and God is happy with your faith.

Be Blessed

“I don’t feel like going to church today.” “I don’t feel like reading the bible today.” “I don’t feel like listening to praise music today.” “I don’t feel like reading my devotional.”

If you tell me that you have never had one of the above thoughts go through your head at any time you should repent because it’s a lie! I may sometimes make generalizations but I know that this is one thing all Christians have in common at one point or another…not wanting to do things that bring us closer to our creator.

It is also something that, if fed into, can slowly rot the roots of our faith.

It is important to understand where feelings come from. Our feelings come from our flesh which is not dictated by the spirit, but tries to resist the reigns of God’s spirit at all costs. Consider a two-year old child. Here is a child who hasn’t fully learned that mommy and daddy are in charge and is willing to throw a temper tantrum at the drop of a hat if not catered to in the way he desires. The best way to stop a child from throwing temper tantrums is to ignore him and walk away because this teaches the child that there is no benefit to acting out. Now consider that your flesh is much like that two-year old; it doesn’t want to be told what to do or how to behave so it throws temper tantrums in the form of feelings.

There have been lots of times when I have not wanted to read the bible, not wanted to pray, not wanted to go to church, not wanted to hang out with my friends but I have learned that part of belief is will. I have also learned that it is very effective to ignore your feelings (that you know are ungodly) as though they were a screaming child. It is hard and sometimes there are headaches but it must be done.

Eventually it gets easier and you will begin to have less of those feelings as your flesh comes in line with your spirit, but I don’t think it will ever be perfect (in this lifetime). Remember that belief is an act of will, it is forcing yourself to look outside of the physical desires and cares to deeper, more spiritual, issues.

With Love